Best Friend drama

I know this post would never end this problem, but I just want to make this clear to people.

Most of you would know, my best friend is a guy.

Because he’s a guy, people think the Hollywood magic would happen; ‘’Oh they’re going to couple for sure!’’. And when it is denied, people think; ‘’Ok, he likes her. That’s definitely why he’s so close to her’’.

Fine. People tend to stereotype that way. That’s normal.

But what’s not normal is how matters get out of hand.

Let me just list it out for all you ignorant idiots.

1)      Because he’s malay, certain people disapprove of our bond. For instance, my grandpa. He thinks it’s unsightly I am so close to a guy, especially a malay. Then there’s my dad, not disapproving about us, but in general, brings him into any complaints he has over political issues.

2)      Nowadays when I do date or hope to date, the guys would start to point fingers at him, insisting he likes me and how cowardly he is to not man up about his ‘true’ feelings. Then they start insulting him, hating him, and just treat him like a convict.

3)      This hacker who apparently liked me tried to sabotage his internet life because the hacker believes that he is a threat to my life, therefore trying to erase him from being my best friend. Even though it was proven that my best friend is here to help, and not cause whatever stupid nonsense the hacker believed, he was still hacked so that the hacker can prove he likes me.

So here’s my defence for what I believe in.

1)      So what if he is not Chinese?!?? At least he’s there to give me support, be the shoulder to cry on when everyone in my family is busy cursing at each other!!

2)      So what IF he does like me? Why does that concern you bastards?! IF he does, shouldn’t I be worried, NOT you??? Oh, so you’re trying to ‘warn’ me?? You think I’ve never heard of this nonsense since we became friends??? Even if it’s true, he KNOWS I would never like him that way, and we would still be friends after he confessed. And I’m not saying this is true, but that would happen if it is.

3)      He got hacked, it’s my entire fault, and yet he doesn’t blame me for it. His conversations were stalked, small and stupid hints of him liking me were emailed to me by the hacker, and so many silly things happened just cause he is my best friend.

4)      Only a month or so ago, my ‘best friend’ IMed me saying he likes me, telling how he never said it before because he was scared. He even told my other friend. The next day when I tried to confirm the truth, when he didn’t pick up my call, I called my other friend to get her to contact him instead. When he finally answered my call, he confirmed it was the HACKER, not him. But the damage was done. My other friend was so in believe with what the liar said, she screamed at my best friend for denying the truth. And ever since then, she has been believing he actually DOES like me.

Just so you know…

It hurts;

·         That people accuse you as if you’re blind about the situation.

·         When other guys you considered dating accuse your best friend without knowing the truth.

·         When people are so stubborn they don’t think the whole situation thoroughly.

·         When one of your good friends whom you trust would know the truth, is siding with the disbelievers.

·         That whenever this happens, without fail my best friend would say he is sorry when he is not the one at wrong.

If people started rumours about your best friend, how would YOU feel? What if people talked lies about your family, won’t YOU feel like your heart is being ripped out??

When I am in a foul mood, I would snap at him at treat him unfairly.

When I am crying, I would tell him about events in painstakingly full detail.

When I am under stress, I would lose my patience over him

When I am lazy, I ignore him.

And yet here he is, still taking in whatever shyte I give him.

All these traits, can be found within a good friend. Be it guy or girl.

I chose to be friends with a guy, and I picked the right choice.

And that’s why; you people have no rights to say anything about this. NO rights at all.

If you’re still so blind as to think I’m being blind, then YOU are the blind one because you have never been in my shoes. So shut the hell up.

Oh, and I would never shed a tear for a guy. No guy is worth a girl’s tears unless they are happy tears. As for all the tears I’ve shed in this ‘unnecessary’ battle of friendship for 2.5 years, they are to pity the blind ass*****.

I'm such a failure :(

I’m such a lazy person! I left my blog dead.. Sowee bloggie! :(

Hols has started! So far I’ve managed to lose my mp3, recover it in my washing machine, and took my driving test.

I’m not gonna lie, imma gonna go back to Coll to use the library. Hey! I know you guys are going to say I’m such a nerd, but I just wanna prepare myself for next sem (which is supposed to be harder).

If I almost died in the last sem, imagine the next one… Whoooo dead.

 

Sooooo… Driving. I FAILED. Stupid right. I know. So far there are a few people who called me noob and such, thinking it’s funny. Well, I know it’s noobish and all, but I just don’t get why you people can’t be a lil more sympathetic.

 

Imagine.

Exam can be taken ONLY on Mondays.

 

The earliest date that’s free is 23 MAY.

 

My coll starts on the 9th of May.

 

So that means I need to skip class, right?

 

What if, my class is an important class? Something you can’t miss?

 

What if, it’s a class where I need to hand up important works?

Sureee it might take half a day, but going back, I have to wait for the other students to be done, that means I only reach SS2 at 1pm, earliest.

 

I need to get to Asia Jaya, then wait for a bus to go coll. That would take an hour, earliest. So I’d be back in coll by 2 - 3, right?

 

Miss full day class lo, if Mondays are full days la.

Then let’s assume I fail… AGAIN.

 

Prob wait for another 1 month or so, and that’s when coll work piles up. Then I miss class(es) twice adi. Get warning letter lo (3 miss classes = fail sub).

 

I waited until today to take it cause it’s sem break, no classes to miss. But now, wasted. Just cause in the end, I did a very small mistake. VERY small. But it still counts, what to do.

 

So….

 

It’s not funny. Thanks.

:/

Ugh

I’m going to be blunt here. This is going to be an emo post so if you’re not in the mood for this, just stop reading.

I’m also not in the mood for advice. I KNOW what’s my problem and I KNOW how to handle it. I just want to vent out..

So today I went out with my friends to do some project stuff. Was in Summit, my 1st time there in a super duper long time, and I had my eye set on these shoes that were on 70% discount. It’s a simple shoe, and after discount was for RM18. So I thought hey, worth it, so I bought it.

Taking the bus to someplace else, I sat right at the back. I left my shoes on the floor. And I guess you’d know what happened next…

I forgot to take them down with me.

First of all, I’m pissed cuz I actually don’t have much cash on me, and was not supposed to spend money but I did. So yeah, I spent cash and got nothing in return.

Secondly, I had someone who rubbed into my face about this and certain stuff. It was annoying and it secretly hurt me more than ever.

Thirdly, I’m fucking pissed at myself for being so stupid. Not only stupid with this, but the whole week.

And so, I’m mainly pissed at myself.

See, on Monday many people didn’t bring the materials needed for a class (myself included). We got a mini lecture from my lecturer which of course, were wise words. I blame myself, cuz I know and understand what he said, and yet I was too lazy to have made sure I got the materials.

Thursday, I didn’t get to finish my home assignment, and was one of the few responsible for making the lecturer lectured the class. It really stung my pride and all. I know her words were blunt for a reason, but it frigging hurts. I was having an internal argument the entire of the class period, so bad till I did my work half heartedly..

Voice 1 : You know, I didn’t get to finish it last night cuz I was sick!

Voice 2 : But if you’d waken earlier, you could’ve finish it. But nooo, you just HAD to ignore your alarm. So much for discipline.

Voice 1 : But I still wasn’t feeling well! I can’t be blame.

Voice 2 : Bullshit. You took the pills this morning when you still felt ill and now look, you’re fine.

Voice 3 : Can’t blame her! You know what’d happen if she’d not rested last night! She should tell the lecturer she was sick!

Voice 2 : And what, get another lecture? For being irresponsible and immature? She could’ve instead finished it another day! She’d prob get a ‘serve you right’for doing it last minute.

Voice 1 : But I was sick..

Voice 3 : Like, shut the effing hell up. You’re simply making excuses for your weakness. Just put on your fucking thick face like you know you should and SHUT UP!

But I eventually brushed it away. And that night, I made the stupid childish mistake again. I knew if I were to sleep, I will end up sleeping an extra hour. But I thought if I set my alarm earlier, I’d wake up in time. So I slept… And woke up 3 hours late.

I was so furious with myself. Here I go again, rushing my assignments. I made the same mistake again. Its like, when will I ever learn?!?!?! I know myself, and yet I repeat the same mistake. And today this happens. Is this God’s way of teaching me a lesson? That I should really stop making bad decisions?

I’m simply pissed at myself. Just super pissed. And downright disappointed.

I know I need to move on, but I just want to cry.

Like, wtf is wrong with me??

So what if you’re tired and sick, everyone is feeling the same!

Just shut the fuck up Maddie and move on.

Drama :)

I left my blog dead for appx 27 days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not THAT busy but I’d a lot going on. Eheh.

I’ve adjusted to coll well so far, so I’m not worried. But I heard starting from the 5th week (which is next week!) it’d get tougher. Oh well, if life gives you candy, get cavity eh? As in, just work hard for it xD

*lameness*

CNY was kinda quiet this year. I didn’t get to see many relatives. And horror of all horror, I had my menstrual cramps on the 1st day of CNY! Thank God my friends were understanding :/

I’ve had lotsa drama going on lately. You people would think its nonsense, and I guess it is?

Family drama.

Guy(s) drama(s).

Ptfff.

This, of course, leads me to typing about my dramas x)

Family drama has been getting worst. Well, not as bad as last time but I’m kinda losing my patience. It’s really getting me down and tbh, the solution to the problem is very complex.

As for the guy(s) drama(s). I’ve two major ones. Yay, you’ll expect exciting stuff right? Like how I commit affair with a married man, bla bla, or a typical triangle or just puppy love. Hahahaha sorry la but it ain’t that. Its;

1) Guy A has been stalking my chats with my best friend. He’s anonymous and oh, did I mention he admires me? Well I think it’s admired now, but I don’t care. Did I also mention he wants to sabotage my friend? Lovely ain’t it?

2) Guy B.. Have been liking him for 2 years, had lots of ups and downs with him (mostly downs…sry dude!). I guess its considered a cat and dog situation? Lotsa chasing but no results.

So what have I done to improve my drama?

I’ve finally taken the first step of trying to resolve my family probs.. So far so good :)

Stalker? He finally terminated all attempts to stalk my friend and I for a certain reason. He’s GONE, my privacy’s back! But I’ve a feeling he’ll be back..

Guy B? Finally, I got the ultimate answer. I hate being blunt but I couldn’t stand it anymore (sorry! I didn’t mean to :( ). So yea finally, its over. 2 years. Over. I don’t feel glad tho. I guess I knew it’d end like how I’d expected it.. But hey, still enjoyed the Ups we had :)

So now I have 1 main drama to focus on. And pray, I really really hope it stays that way!

Hahahaha!

I woke up with an empty feeling in my tummy. I thought it perfect, because it felt right and it was all I'd ever wanted. It feels as if I've lost a great opportunity in life. Now, I can't help but expect to wake up with your msg on my phone. But I'd to stop myself and remind myself its over. Things feel blank...

But maybe its cuz I’m hungwee :3

Look! 11-01-11!

Since I’m considered a coll kid *boblikestoremindmecoughcough* so I’ll just blog about coll so far :)

I was pretty excited about the orientation so yeah, tho it was long, I enjoyed it :D I’ll summarise about it kay.

1st day : Briefings on how to use the student site, library, lab bookings. Eric Leong briefed us about interior design, he joked lots. We formed our group for the following day’s group activity.

Dunno Eric Leong? Tengok ni; http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Leong/781847883#!/profile.php?id=781847883

The dude likes his pricey ice cream btw :D

2nd day : We went Sunway Lagoon!!!! Best kannnn? Kinda. We were given 4 photos, and we’ve to find the location based on the photo to get our tasks. Tasks finished, we’re handed words which we’ve to join in the end of the course. My group decided to look for the task slips before heading off to the task. The tasks included frog jumps, a ride on Grand Canyon and a slide, AND my favourite *notreally*, the suspension bridge. But since it rained, that section was closed so we had to ride on the Tomohawk! Its that ship thingy that turns 360 degrees.. Awesome la x)

3rd day : Briefing on deadlines, penalties, etc. And a speech *or lesson, as he proposed it was* from our principal. Got our materials and student ID too!

So yesterday was the first day of classes. I had History of Art *gasps!* and Finished Art. History ain’t that bad, we’ll be learning more on Western stuff for now (Y). Greek history next week, can’t wait! Finished art is like your..err.. pop up art and packaging stuff. Its ok, tedious tho with all the measurements -.-‘

Today I had computer graphics design only. My lecturer taught us the basic tools in Illustrator and we played around with polygons. Wheee! So fun :D We were also handed our assignment briefing and well, it LOOKS awesome :)

Hung out with new friends today too. Watched Paranormal Activity 2, had lunch, played pool and bowling. Haha! They’re really nice people, but I miss my old ones :3

I guess I should stop now. Gotta play with me bunnies then try and finish HP6 *dumbledoregonnadiefishfishfishfish!* and sleep. Gotta wake up early to teman a new friend to coll. Hehehe. She reminds me of someone too! Just can’t figure out who…

Lookalikes everywhere! Aieee! :P

2010+1

14 hours and 2010 will end.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Tbh, I’m kinda sad yet glad its over :)

* There goes my final year at school, imma gonna miss my friends! :O
* No more scouts and other clubs! Aaaw damnn :(
* Free days are now over! Aiee!

But

* SPM is overrrr!! Wheeeeeeee!
* A new chapter awaits in 2011. So excited!
* I’ve made valuable friends! :D
* I’m leaving the old drama behind for good! Ptf, take that you b&%*^!

:)

And well, I’ve made my resolutions already. Staying at home with nothing but Harry Potter to entertain me made me excited for this. Eeeeeeeee :)

1) Just enjoy every moment I can get *cliché I know!*
2) I MUST and NEED to still hang out with my friends! Gawd I still need you guys :D
3) Work hard in college cause damn, I need to stop procrastinating :O
4) Smile more, less emo+pms = less botox + suicidal attempts :P
5) Less drama with boys please! I don’t want wtv I had in 2010 to repeat itself, they ain’t worth it >:)
6) I needa be more adventurous! Unleash my wild side (Y)!
7) Don’t ever ever, ever change myself just to please people, cuz heck, I’m unique! *cheh perasan* :P
8) I need to start working out soon :/
9) Dei, cepat get a new hp and a laptop! A phone that dies and butt ache ain’t nice x)

10) I wanna dye my hair a shade of purple, blonde or red :D:D:D:D
11) Imma gonna appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YA, NO MATTER WHAT! Heeeeeee!

2011! I’ve a good feeling about you ;)

M.I.S.S. U

Life’s been quiet nowadays, what’s with prom done and I’m waiting for my ‘L’. Bob’s in Singapore, Imp backpacking in Australia, and Ee in Johor/ Sg so yeah, life’s kinda lonely.

On the plus side, I know I should be skipping with joy now that I’m about to start college! I should be ecstatic my New Year’s shopping will be done soon! I should be excited I’m gonna have my virgin ears pierced (finally)!

Well, I am. But its not over the top joy :/

I hate to say it so soon, but I miss my friends! :O

Yes, I have other friends but these 3 are like, my bros and sis. I need someone to talk to, to laugh with, to just be there..

Especially since emotionally, I’m not doing fine.

I owe all of these nonsense to my PMSing tho -.-‘

But yeah, I just miss them :(

Come back soon! :’(