Ugh

I’m going to be blunt here. This is going to be an emo post so if you’re not in the mood for this, just stop reading.

I’m also not in the mood for advice. I KNOW what’s my problem and I KNOW how to handle it. I just want to vent out..

So today I went out with my friends to do some project stuff. Was in Summit, my 1st time there in a super duper long time, and I had my eye set on these shoes that were on 70% discount. It’s a simple shoe, and after discount was for RM18. So I thought hey, worth it, so I bought it.

Taking the bus to someplace else, I sat right at the back. I left my shoes on the floor. And I guess you’d know what happened next…

I forgot to take them down with me.

First of all, I’m pissed cuz I actually don’t have much cash on me, and was not supposed to spend money but I did. So yeah, I spent cash and got nothing in return.

Secondly, I had someone who rubbed into my face about this and certain stuff. It was annoying and it secretly hurt me more than ever.

Thirdly, I’m fucking pissed at myself for being so stupid. Not only stupid with this, but the whole week.

And so, I’m mainly pissed at myself.

See, on Monday many people didn’t bring the materials needed for a class (myself included). We got a mini lecture from my lecturer which of course, were wise words. I blame myself, cuz I know and understand what he said, and yet I was too lazy to have made sure I got the materials.

Thursday, I didn’t get to finish my home assignment, and was one of the few responsible for making the lecturer lectured the class. It really stung my pride and all. I know her words were blunt for a reason, but it frigging hurts. I was having an internal argument the entire of the class period, so bad till I did my work half heartedly..

Voice 1 : You know, I didn’t get to finish it last night cuz I was sick!

Voice 2 : But if you’d waken earlier, you could’ve finish it. But nooo, you just HAD to ignore your alarm. So much for discipline.

Voice 1 : But I still wasn’t feeling well! I can’t be blame.

Voice 2 : Bullshit. You took the pills this morning when you still felt ill and now look, you’re fine.

Voice 3 : Can’t blame her! You know what’d happen if she’d not rested last night! She should tell the lecturer she was sick!

Voice 2 : And what, get another lecture? For being irresponsible and immature? She could’ve instead finished it another day! She’d prob get a ‘serve you right’for doing it last minute.

Voice 1 : But I was sick..

Voice 3 : Like, shut the effing hell up. You’re simply making excuses for your weakness. Just put on your fucking thick face like you know you should and SHUT UP!

But I eventually brushed it away. And that night, I made the stupid childish mistake again. I knew if I were to sleep, I will end up sleeping an extra hour. But I thought if I set my alarm earlier, I’d wake up in time. So I slept… And woke up 3 hours late.

I was so furious with myself. Here I go again, rushing my assignments. I made the same mistake again. Its like, when will I ever learn?!?!?! I know myself, and yet I repeat the same mistake. And today this happens. Is this God’s way of teaching me a lesson? That I should really stop making bad decisions?

I’m simply pissed at myself. Just super pissed. And downright disappointed.

I know I need to move on, but I just want to cry.

Like, wtf is wrong with me??

So what if you’re tired and sick, everyone is feeling the same!

Just shut the fuck up Maddie and move on.

Drama :)

I left my blog dead for appx 27 days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not THAT busy but I’d a lot going on. Eheh.

I’ve adjusted to coll well so far, so I’m not worried. But I heard starting from the 5th week (which is next week!) it’d get tougher. Oh well, if life gives you candy, get cavity eh? As in, just work hard for it xD

*lameness*

CNY was kinda quiet this year. I didn’t get to see many relatives. And horror of all horror, I had my menstrual cramps on the 1st day of CNY! Thank God my friends were understanding :/

I’ve had lotsa drama going on lately. You people would think its nonsense, and I guess it is?

Family drama.

Guy(s) drama(s).

Ptfff.

This, of course, leads me to typing about my dramas x)

Family drama has been getting worst. Well, not as bad as last time but I’m kinda losing my patience. It’s really getting me down and tbh, the solution to the problem is very complex.

As for the guy(s) drama(s). I’ve two major ones. Yay, you’ll expect exciting stuff right? Like how I commit affair with a married man, bla bla, or a typical triangle or just puppy love. Hahahaha sorry la but it ain’t that. Its;

1) Guy A has been stalking my chats with my best friend. He’s anonymous and oh, did I mention he admires me? Well I think it’s admired now, but I don’t care. Did I also mention he wants to sabotage my friend? Lovely ain’t it?

2) Guy B.. Have been liking him for 2 years, had lots of ups and downs with him (mostly downs…sry dude!). I guess its considered a cat and dog situation? Lotsa chasing but no results.

So what have I done to improve my drama?

I’ve finally taken the first step of trying to resolve my family probs.. So far so good :)

Stalker? He finally terminated all attempts to stalk my friend and I for a certain reason. He’s GONE, my privacy’s back! But I’ve a feeling he’ll be back..

Guy B? Finally, I got the ultimate answer. I hate being blunt but I couldn’t stand it anymore (sorry! I didn’t mean to :( ). So yea finally, its over. 2 years. Over. I don’t feel glad tho. I guess I knew it’d end like how I’d expected it.. But hey, still enjoyed the Ups we had :)

So now I have 1 main drama to focus on. And pray, I really really hope it stays that way!

Hahahaha!

I woke up with an empty feeling in my tummy. I thought it perfect, because it felt right and it was all I'd ever wanted. It feels as if I've lost a great opportunity in life. Now, I can't help but expect to wake up with your msg on my phone. But I'd to stop myself and remind myself its over. Things feel blank...

But maybe its cuz I’m hungwee :3

Look! 11-01-11!

Since I’m considered a coll kid *boblikestoremindmecoughcough* so I’ll just blog about coll so far :)

I was pretty excited about the orientation so yeah, tho it was long, I enjoyed it :D I’ll summarise about it kay.

1st day : Briefings on how to use the student site, library, lab bookings. Eric Leong briefed us about interior design, he joked lots. We formed our group for the following day’s group activity.

Dunno Eric Leong? Tengok ni; http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Leong/781847883#!/profile.php?id=781847883

The dude likes his pricey ice cream btw :D

2nd day : We went Sunway Lagoon!!!! Best kannnn? Kinda. We were given 4 photos, and we’ve to find the location based on the photo to get our tasks. Tasks finished, we’re handed words which we’ve to join in the end of the course. My group decided to look for the task slips before heading off to the task. The tasks included frog jumps, a ride on Grand Canyon and a slide, AND my favourite *notreally*, the suspension bridge. But since it rained, that section was closed so we had to ride on the Tomohawk! Its that ship thingy that turns 360 degrees.. Awesome la x)

3rd day : Briefing on deadlines, penalties, etc. And a speech *or lesson, as he proposed it was* from our principal. Got our materials and student ID too!

So yesterday was the first day of classes. I had History of Art *gasps!* and Finished Art. History ain’t that bad, we’ll be learning more on Western stuff for now (Y). Greek history next week, can’t wait! Finished art is like your..err.. pop up art and packaging stuff. Its ok, tedious tho with all the measurements -.-‘

Today I had computer graphics design only. My lecturer taught us the basic tools in Illustrator and we played around with polygons. Wheee! So fun :D We were also handed our assignment briefing and well, it LOOKS awesome :)

Hung out with new friends today too. Watched Paranormal Activity 2, had lunch, played pool and bowling. Haha! They’re really nice people, but I miss my old ones :3

I guess I should stop now. Gotta play with me bunnies then try and finish HP6 *dumbledoregonnadiefishfishfishfish!* and sleep. Gotta wake up early to teman a new friend to coll. Hehehe. She reminds me of someone too! Just can’t figure out who…

Lookalikes everywhere! Aieee! :P

2010+1

14 hours and 2010 will end.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Tbh, I’m kinda sad yet glad its over :)

* There goes my final year at school, imma gonna miss my friends! :O
* No more scouts and other clubs! Aaaw damnn :(
* Free days are now over! Aiee!

But

* SPM is overrrr!! Wheeeeeeee!
* A new chapter awaits in 2011. So excited!
* I’ve made valuable friends! :D
* I’m leaving the old drama behind for good! Ptf, take that you b&%*^!

:)

And well, I’ve made my resolutions already. Staying at home with nothing but Harry Potter to entertain me made me excited for this. Eeeeeeeee :)

1) Just enjoy every moment I can get *cliché I know!*
2) I MUST and NEED to still hang out with my friends! Gawd I still need you guys :D
3) Work hard in college cause damn, I need to stop procrastinating :O
4) Smile more, less emo+pms = less botox + suicidal attempts :P
5) Less drama with boys please! I don’t want wtv I had in 2010 to repeat itself, they ain’t worth it >:)
6) I needa be more adventurous! Unleash my wild side (Y)!
7) Don’t ever ever, ever change myself just to please people, cuz heck, I’m unique! *cheh perasan* :P
8) I need to start working out soon :/
9) Dei, cepat get a new hp and a laptop! A phone that dies and butt ache ain’t nice x)

10) I wanna dye my hair a shade of purple, blonde or red :D:D:D:D
11) Imma gonna appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YA, NO MATTER WHAT! Heeeeeee!

2011! I’ve a good feeling about you ;)

M.I.S.S. U

Life’s been quiet nowadays, what’s with prom done and I’m waiting for my ‘L’. Bob’s in Singapore, Imp backpacking in Australia, and Ee in Johor/ Sg so yeah, life’s kinda lonely.

On the plus side, I know I should be skipping with joy now that I’m about to start college! I should be ecstatic my New Year’s shopping will be done soon! I should be excited I’m gonna have my virgin ears pierced (finally)!

Well, I am. But its not over the top joy :/

I hate to say it so soon, but I miss my friends! :O

Yes, I have other friends but these 3 are like, my bros and sis. I need someone to talk to, to laugh with, to just be there..

Especially since emotionally, I’m not doing fine.

I owe all of these nonsense to my PMSing tho -.-‘

But yeah, I just miss them :(

Come back soon! :’(

Someone stop me!! :O

You know, I expected my holiday to be filled with relaxation. Lazing around, eating lots, sleeping, hanging out with friends.. The usual stuff, no?

I didn’t expect to :

* fall sick
* be given a task I thought people forgot about
* run around trying to accomplish it while feeling sick
* volunteer to help someone out
* end up exhausted from the work load given

But hey, lookie the bright side… I’m cured of my food poisoning! :D:D

I’ve been busy with prom stuff mostly. I volunteered to help with door gifts, and well, there were certain problems with it.. Ohhhhh, I just got an sms from Jiunn Jie. Hallelujah, I’m saved! Ok so lets skip this part, problem solved :)

I heard this girl needed help with deco, so kinda pitying her I volunteered my help. She needed help with the stage deco, and tho it may not look tiresome...it really is. Had to check out the hall, discuss and plan stuff, and of course, perform the plan. Tho I don’t really mind, but having to open my house doors to be the workplace is a drag. Especially for my bro, cause he wants to practice and its kinda disturbing him :/

I’ve started my driving classes too. The lecture was….boring. I went with Bob, Ee couldn’t make it and he was given wrong info from the clerk. Me, forgetting the rule, wore slippers which I had to pay RM10 for. Wtf??? We met a new friend tho, Marian. She’s cool :D But she spotted a few girls in slippers too who weren’t stopped by the workers… $&#$^#@$)!

On a lighter note, I’ve finally received my offer letter from

:P:P:P:D:D:D

Orientation day is on the 5th. Can’t wait wehhhh :)

Overall, I’m quite worried about my schedule. I know college would be hectic, and I should appreciate my free time now. But so far,

* 1 week is gone.
* I’d not a single work free day
* My schedule is planned for next week
* Which leaves me with the final week before OD free

I’m scared I won’t be free then too. I wish I am tho… I really wanna slow down and smell the flowers! Sadly most of my friends won’t be around during that time. I really missed out a lot, didn’t I?

I’m still grateful to have spent time with people tho busy. Ishaq, Wendy, Sofiah, Ee Leng, Jun Ren and of course, BOB! I owe him a great deal, he’s a true friend to me :3

Sayonara! I need to enjoy my 30 mins of freedom before I start work on deco stuff again. Hagrid is teaching about Blasted End Skewts, and I wouldn’t want to miss out on Harry’s first Defence Against the Dark Arts class with Moody!

:P

Red Riding Hood.. My version :D

Before I begin, I wanna say sorry for changing the storyline of Red Riding Hood.. So instead, my character is named Blue Riding Hood! :D

Blue Riding Hood went to visit grandpa.
On the way she met a pig.
Piggy asked, 'Where are you going, Blue Riding Hood?'
She said 'Oh, to visit grandpa of course! But dear me, I seem to have forgotten to bring his meal along... I suppose I will have to find berries along the way!'
The pig, now in a thoughtful trance, rushed to grandpa's house.
He sneaked into the kitchen, brought up the big pot and filled it with water from the well.
He boiled the water, added in turnips,carrots, salt, garlic and rosemary,
obviously getting ready for a feast.
When Blue Riding Hood finally arrived, he quickly dressed up as grandpa.
'Come in Blue Riding Hood, grandpa can't see you with his poor vision, come closer! I'm in the kitchen'.
She went into the kitchen and got a shock.
'Grandpa! Your tummy! It looks bloated, what has happened??'
'Grandpa has a bad case of indigestion my dear, could you please cook up this broth for me as my remedy?'
'But grandpa, there are only vegetables in here. Where's the meat stock?'
Piggy revealed himself and said, 'Here it is,' and threw himself into the pot.

The end.

Alvin asked me for a bedtime story, so I conjured this up for fun. Hehehehe. I was too lazy to blog about something else, so yeah :)

Sorry its not halal too!